Lindsey Dean is an ASU Cronkite School of Journalism student assigned to cover Cactus High School for AZPreps365.com.

GLENDALE – Under the searing Arizona sun, the Cactus High School football team gathers on a practice field that feels worlds away from the realities its players face off the grass. 

For seniors Tristan Varga and Gabriel Sotelo, football isn’t just a game. It’s a lifeline.

Their connection runs deeper than shared plays and locker room banter. They’ve each endured unimaginable loss – loss that has tested the limits of their inner strength and shaped the way they view not only football, but life itself. 

Varga and Sotelo both lost their fathers during their time at Cactus. 

As young teenagers, they had to deal with the loss of their biggest role model. 

Varga, a tight end and defensive end for the Cobras, lost his father only a few months ago in a moment of devastating suddenness during a family trip to Sedona. It was meant to be a rare moment of peace – a break from a life that had already been marked by hardship. 

“It’s been hard. When I first transferred into Cactus I was pretty much homeless,” Varga said. “Trying to get to practice, to school and all that you know. Then my father got a job, and within a month, he passed away. So we were thinking I was going to get into a house, and finally get out of that homelessness, but now it is just me and my brother.” 

For much of his life, home was a patchwork of hotels, couches and spare bedrooms. Throughout the past year, he bounced around friends' houses, stayed at hotels and lived with his grandparents when he could. 

Varga was with his father in Sedona where they went cliff jumping to enjoy some family time after finishing up Cactus’ football training camp over the summer. 

“My dad was a fearless man, so he was the first one to jump,” Varga said. “After he jumped in the water, he comes up and tells me ‘T, my chest is hurting’ and starts rubbing on his chest. Then, as we were about to head to another spot, I saw my dad collapse. He had a seizure and a massive heart attack and passed away.” 

The moment his father passed, everything shifted. Varga once again found himself untethered. 

“The first one I called was Coach Joey,” Varga said, referring to offensive line coach Joseph Marrufo. “He said his condolences, and you know our head coach, (Brian) Belles, texted me saying ‘you could take however many days off you need. Days, weeks, whatever. We are all here for you.” 

However, football became the one thing he could hold onto, even when his world seemed to spin out of control. 

“First thing I said to them was ‘I don’t want to take any days off,’ " Varga said. “My father would have told me to keep going. Just keep pushing.” 

Tristan Varga (left) after Cactus’ playoff win against Kellis High School in which he scored a touchdown for the Cobras on Nov. 22. (Lindsey Dean photo/AZPreps365)

Marrufo has been a pillar of support for all of his players at Cactus. He makes sure his players, especially Varga, understand that he is always around for them no matter the circumstances. 

“I’ve always liked to just be the person that you can rely on, you can count on,” Marrufo said. “The one steady thing in your life. If that’s me, then that’s awesome.” 

Marrufo has shown up for Varga in so many ways, both on and off the field. After Varga’s father passed, Marrufo continued to check in to make sure he had everything he needed -- that he felt loved and supported. 

Belles has cultivated an environment at Cactus where coaches and players alike prioritize being there for one another, creating a team culture rooted in trust, compassion and unwavering support. 

When Varga lost his father, his teammates showed up in ways that words couldn’t capture. Some visited him or called, just to check in. Others quietly made sure he had rides to practice or enough to eat. 

“I knew I wasn’t alone,’ Varga said. “When all my brothers are right there telling me 'I got you T’ and ‘We’re out here with you.’ So I appreciate all of them and all my coaches.” 

While Gabriel Sotelo’s circumstances might look different, the steadfast solidarity he has felt from Cactus football has been his guiding force the past two years. 

Sotelo, a senior wide receiver and safety for the Cobras, lost his father in November 2022 when he was shot and killed in a random act of gun violence while driving home. 

Sotelo’s father was a respected and cherished member of the community, owning a successful barber shop in Glendale where people from all over would come to get their hair cut. 

“His dad was a fantastic father,” said Marrufo, a long-time family friend of Sotelo’s. “He was a well-known barber in the state of Arizona. People knew him all around our surrounding states. He would win competitions. He was a great athlete when he was younger.”

Sotelo’s father was Gabriel’s unwavering guide, a steady presence in his life, and losing him so suddenly felt like the ground had been pulled out from beneath him, leaving a void that seemed impossible to overcome. 

“My father was my biggest role model,” Sotelo said. “He pushed me the most. Everything I did, he was right there right next to me. The day he passed, it just didn’t feel real.” 

After his death, Gabriel stepped into a role no teenager should have to fill. 

Overnight, he became the man of the house, juggling the demands of school, football and helping to raise his siblings.

“Ever since he passed, I feel like things have been hard,” Sotelo said. “Before he passed, he did get my mother pregnant. So losing him and having the baby has been hard. But, I want to shout out to my mom. She is so strong and I am so proud of her. I know she wishes she could do more for me, but I appreciate everything she does.” 

Sotelo stepped into this newfound responsibility, balancing the weight of this role with a maturity far beyond his years, ensuring his family remains supported and cared for despite their loss. 

“To be the head of your household at 17, 18 years old,” Marrufo said. “I mean, it’s not that it’s unfair, but sometimes it can be. At 16, 17, 18, these could be some of the most influential years of a young man’s life. And for him to feel like there’s always something that he has to do to provide for his mom, his siblings, it can be challenging.” 

The coaching staff has been incredibly supportive of Sotelo, understanding the challenges he faces as the oldest to his four siblings and working to ensure he has the flexibility and support he needs to balance his responsibilities and grief. 

“There are days when it is tough on him,” Belles said. “There are days when he has to miss things here or there because he is the man of the house and he has to take care of his siblings. We are always cognizant of the fact that there are things he has to do outside of football. For us, it is just about letting him know we are there, and we care about him, to provide whatever support we can.” 

Gabriel Sotelo (left) and Brian Belles (right) look onto the field from the sidelines during their quarterfinal game earlier this year. (Lindsey Dean photo/AZPreps365)

Determined to carry on his father’s legacy, Sotelo has embraced his role: striving to instill in them the same values of strength, kindness and resilience that his father taught him. 

“It’s hard you know, but I am doing everything I can for my siblings and my mother,” Sotelo said. “That baby, I want to raise it right, just like my father raised me. The way he raised me, I feel like he did a very good job.” 

His team has shown up in as many ways as they could, both on and off the field. 

“A few days after (his father’s death), there was a vigil at his barber shop,” Belles said. “The whole team showed up. Just to show our support for him and his family. It was a really sad moment for his family. We were there. We tried to provide all the support we could at the time knowing this isn’t going to be something that goes away.” 

Despite Sotelo having to miss Cactus’ state championship run in 2022 to be with his family, the team made sure his presence was still with them on the field. 

“At our next playoff game that season,” Belles said, “we took his varsity jersey out for the coin toss as a commemorative captain for that game. Just to let him know we were thinking about him and we supported him.”

For both Sotelo and Varga, football has become more than a game. It’s a place where they can channel their emotions, escape their challenges and find a sense of purpose amid their grief.

“Football is my outlet for everything,” Varga said. “Football has always been my outlet for everything, but especially after my father passing. It definitely has helped so much.” 

While to some football can be seen as simply a sport kids play with their friends, at Cactus it can be a family away from home players can find a safe haven in. 

“I’ve started to realize football really is my only outlet,” Sotelo said. 

Gabriel Sotelo before his quarterfinal game at home earlier this season. (Lindsey Dean photo/AZPreps365)

Amid the challenges and heartbreak Sotelo and Varga have faced, football has provided them with a critical sense of purpose. It has kept them grounded, offering a productive outlet for their emotions and a reason to stay focused when life could have easily taken them down a darker path. 

“Without football, I would not know what to do,” Sotelo said. “Football has helped me get out of bad situations. I could definitely be in bad places right now, but football has taken me down the right path.” 

Cactus football has built a culture that goes far beyond wins and losses, rooted in mutual respect, empathy and genuine care for one another. Marrufo, as not only a coach but an alum of Cactus football as well, has seen the impact this program has on players' lives. 

“For Gabe, you’re only allowed to be a kid in that situation for so long,” Marrufo said. “I mean you’re going home and have to help mom, make sure little brother’s grades are right, make sure little sister’s grades are right, make sure mom is doing okay. And I know that they have a lot of family and support, but I definitely feel like football allows him to be a child a little bit at least every day.” 

Coaches emphasize the importance of character and connection, creating an environment where every player feels seen and supported, both on and off the field. 

“For two and a half hours a day, you can be a kid and not have any worries,” Marrufo said of his players. “In high school when I played here, the coaches would preach that if we are simply teaching you X’s and O’s we are not doing our job. We need to teach you how to be a young man, a contributor to society, a positive role model, a good father, a good husband.” 

Belles (left) and Marrufo (right) on the sidelines of Cactus’ home playoff game against Kellis High School earlier this year. (Lindsey Dean photo/AZPreps365)Belles and his staff have fostered an atmosphere where players feel comfortable sharing their struggles, knowing they’ll be met with understanding and unwavering support. 

“I think it’s in the little things,” Belles said. “The kids knowing that at the end of the day we’re there for them. I know every time we break (from a huddle) as a team, we say family. We don’t say win, we don’t say this or that. It is something that is constantly shown to them.” 

The coaching staff has continuously worked to build relationships with each of the players, through one-on-one conversations and simply reaching out whenever they can. The sense of family at Cactus football goes beyond words, reflected in the steady presence and care from one another.

“We as men, and as leaders of these kids, it is our job to model good behavior,” Belles said. “To model discipline when it comes to things in their life. If we can do that, we are showing them the steps that they need to do to be a good community member when they grow up.” 

Their influence reaches into every aspect of the players’ lives, offering not just mentorship but a secure foundation during times of uncertainty.

“I love them a lot because they definitely have been there for me,” Sotelo said. “Without them too, I feel like I’d probably be in a bad spot but they have guided me in the way of life- in the way of being a man. To be better. I love them and I respect that.”

The coaching staff has stepped in to provide the support and direction their players need during some of the most difficult times in their lives. 

“I don’t think anybody will ever replace my father,” Varga said. “But (the coaches) have definitely been there to support me and tell me ‘Hey, we got you. If you ever need anything, text me, call me, anything, just reach out.’ I appreciate them every day and I love them for that. They are pretty much like family to me.” 

Sotelo and Varga have transformed their struggles into strength through the support of their program, becoming leaders defined not by their challenges, but by how they’ve risen above them. 

“Tristan is a unique personality that I know we as a coaching staff love,” Belles said. “He keeps it light with everybody, which I think is a breath of fresh air. You don’t always see that with kids who have had so many tragedies in their life, but I think that just goes to show what kind of character he has as a person.”

Sotelo has embraced his leadership role and worked tirelessly to become a role model to his family, his siblings, his teammates and his community. 

“I think that those kids (Sotelo’s siblings) have a positive role model in Sotelo to look up to,” Marrfuo said. “And that’s all you can really hope for.”

Though their paths have not been easy, Sotelo and Varga have found something extraordinary in the heart of Cactus football. The team has been more than a lifeline – it’s been a family. 

A constant source of strength and support when life felt overwhelming. As they step off the field and into the next chapters of their lives, they carry with them the lessons of resilience, compassion and the unshakable bond of brotherhood that will always be a part of who they are.

“It’s definitely been a blessing to be here. I wouldn’t change anything about it,” Varga said.